Q:

bullpup off topic – hitman

Figured you guys could use a chuckle.

Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, ‘Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn’t turn up.’

‘Sure,’ they said, ‘You’re welcome.’ So they started playing and enjoyed the company of the newcomer.

Then one of the friends asked the newcomer, ‘What do you do for a living?’

‘I’m a hit man,’ was the reply.

‘You’re joking!’ was the response.

‘No, I’m not,’ he said, reaching into his golf bag and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper’s rifle with a large telescopic sight. ‘Here are my tools.’

‘That’s a beautiful telescopic sight,’ said the other friend, ‘Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here.’

So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.

‘Yeah, I can see my house all right. I can see right in the window!! Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom . . .Ha Ha, I can see she’s naked!! Wait a minute, that’s my neighbor in there with her . . .He’ s naked, too!!!

He turned to the hit man, ‘How much do you charge for a hit?’

‘I’ll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger.’

‘Can you do two for me now?’

‘Sure, what do you want?’

‘First, shoot my wife. She’s always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth.’
‘Then the neighbor, he’s a friend of mine, so just shoot his weenie off to teach him a lesson.’

The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.

‘So what are you waiting for? Are you going to do it or not?’ said the friend impatiently.

‘Just be patient,’ said the hit man calmly, ‘I think I can save you a grand here .

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I have two unemployed recent grad attorneys in the family and both whizzed through the bar exam.. One is giving up to be a businessman instead of a lawyer and started a business. There are something like 15 lawyers for every job. 😮 Unless you are from an ivy league or top school your screwed. :3:

The problem with attorneys are their sheer numbers. The existing legal market can’t support their need for income through genuine legal issues and litigation, so they become scavengers and predators to pay their bills and eat.

Yet, law schools, intent on making profits and securing their own survival, keep turning them out in large numbers each year, increasing the problem.

Tort reform (lawsuit limits) are badly needed, but when the majority of legislators are attorneys, and get much of their re-election donations from legal associations, there is little chance anything will be done.

Attorneys have become a curse in our society.

Donny;

for me, also the fist time, and hope this not happen with any one, 😆 😆

They are the maggots of the business world. Actually, I hire them like hitmen from time to time.

quote donnyfl:

I’ll bet my left nut that you had a bad experience with a lawyer.

quote SECoda:

You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You’re armed but you only have 2 bullets left, what do you do?
Shoot the lawyer. Twice.

How do you save a drowning lawyer?
1. Take your foot off his head.
2. Shoot him before he hits the water.

I’ll bet my left nut that you had a bad experience with a lawyer.

quote SECoda:

You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You’re armed but you only have 2 bullets left, what do you do?
Shoot the lawyer. Twice.

How do you save a drowning lawyer?
1. Take your foot off his head.
2. Shoot him before he hits the water.

You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You’re armed but you only have 2 bullets left, what do you do?
Shoot the lawyer. Twice.

How do you save a drowning lawyer?
1. Take your foot off his head.
2. Shoot him before he hits the water.

Thats the first time I heard golf in the joke or a hitman for that matter but It’s always good though.

I knew it was old but so are most of the guys on this forum so It might sound new to them again. 😆

quote Machine Gun:

Yeah yeah it’s a good one Donny but its rather old, very old. :mrgreen:

Yeah yeah it’s a good one Donny but its rather old, very old. :mrgreen:

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