Jehovah’s Witness Incident…

funny

Ok, now the other experience from my darkside…
Shortly after getting a divorce, I was living in a lower income apartment complex , with many other heathens for nieghbors such as myself. The apartment manager was a real character! A salty older recently widowed gal, transplanted from Brooklyn. She held a certain disdain for what she called them Joe-Hoes…. She blamed the recent influx of visits from being targeted on an “A-List”. She accounted for this because Mrs Kravitz, a goodie good busybody neighbor that always complained to the manager about everything , had encouraged the Joe-Hoes by inviting them in once… Mrs Kravitz had since moved but left behind this Joe-Hoe predictament… The apartment manager had instituted an early warning Joe-Hoe calling network.
This one particular Saturday afternoon the Joe Hoes were spotted, a big group of them dressed in their sunday finest church clothes were making their way down the block. We got the call, “The Joe-Hoes are coming! The JoHos are coming” soon they were to about to invade.
I had a special relationship with the manager. I was the Cable Guy responsible for much of the pirated cable that she and the other inner clique of heathens were recieving in the complex… (*Many times tenants would get evicted and would leave behind an OEM provided cable box. The manager would hook me up with boxes that I would refurbish, hack and sell for profit as an unaddressable converter with full pay per view access.*)
Given the warning I went to action. I dug the trash for every beercan I could find to litter about my coffee table and couch. I changed into an old wife beater tank top tshirt that I had been using as a dust rag. I dropped trou’ and ran around in my boxers. I turned on my Large brand new Technics 400watt 7.1 Dolby Pro-Logic Surround Sound Entertainment system and tuned into the “Spice” XXX network on my 52″ Sony bigscreen TV. While I awaited the ring at the door, I chained smoked a couple of cigarettes. When the doorbell rang, I swung the door wide open, cigarette dangling from the corner of my mouth, beercan in hand and a gangbang in full suroundsound going on right there in the front room in plain sight of the whole courtyard in the doorway behind me…. I was almost as shocked as they were! This was the largest group of proper looking ladies with a number of children that I have ever seen canvas a neighborhood, let alone on one porch! There was what seemed the longest most uncomfortable silence I’ve ever experienced! One of the quicker younger maitronly looking of them started to speak “uh sorry we made….” She was cutoff and as if almost being rescued from my eye contact an older prudish looking old Betty dived in front and center, to interupt and say that they had some literature that they had just wanted to drop off. I swear, while she acted as the human shield the others disbanded in an unorganized exodus in every direction, briskly escaping fot their lives.
When I reached for the literature she flenched and said she would just leave the “Awake” periodical right there in the planter right there on the porch.
Needless to say, never had another visit to that address! I am sure some of those accompaning children are permenantly scarred and ingrained in their memories!