I’m old and cranky, and need information bad!!!

Gentlemen,

Mrs. Comb, next door, (cranky, old, mean, bitch) has been on my case again about “Exhibiting dangerous and anti-social behaviors un-befitting a man of my age!”

She caught me shooting my Talon SS again. So, I’m taking remedial action. I’ve ordered a .22 caliber 18″ barrel for my CO2 Talon and need some advice from wiser minds about what pellets to order that will give me the best performance with that barrel, and CO2.

I can’t get around too good, so CO2 is best for me and the distance I shoot from my back deck. My furthest shot will be 30 yards when I try to take off the head of one of Mrs. Comb’s pet chickens! However, I do like a nice clean decapitation shot, where the head “explodes”. I’ve managed to convince her that a chicken’s head will explode if it gets too hot, and we’ve had temperatures in the high nineties here lately. The .117 cal just didn’t give me the results I needed. I’m hoping the quarter sized head of those chickens will splatter nicely with a .22!

I’m getting a nice after-market shroud for the 18″ barrel, venting the frame, drilling the front bushing, getting a hammer slap mod, so I can get the shot off without the old bitch hearing anything.

So, fellows, I need to know what weight pellet .22 I should get, brand and type appreciated, so I don’t have to relearn what you guys already know. If someone knows what the chrony says about fps with CO2 with certain .22’s, that would be just dandy info to have.

I’m not an evil person, but I am a bored person, and those chickens crap all over my yard. At my age, a man is entitled to some small pleasures in life. Sex is out of the question, I don’t drink anymore, everyone I played cards with croaked. My wife says I’m a lying, no good asshole, and the only person she can’t get along with. While all this is likely more true than not, I still have a right to enjoy myself on a hot summer afternoon!

I do admit, however, that I shot Mrs. Comb in the butt with an airsoft rifle when she bent over to pull some weeds (easy shot!). Right as she jumped up, I hobbled off the porch and told her it was a bee, and I saw it fly off right after it stung her. I told her that it would stop hurting if her husband could suck the poison out, so she ran inside. I don’t know if he did or not, not that it matters, I don’t like him either.

Anyhow, by my rambling, you can see I have way too much time on my hands, so I’d sure appreciate any advice on that .22 pellet type for CO2.

“Hoot”