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:rofl:
You’re a “hoot”, Hoot! That’s some funny shit! Can I use some of them?
Wildfire :5:
Ok, perverts…here it is…..
I was in bed with a blind girl last night, and she said that I had
the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said “You’re pulling my
leg.”
I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the sidewalk! At least I
presume she was poor – she only had $1.20 in her purse.
My girlfriend thinks that I’m a stalker. Well, she’s not exactly
my girlfriend yet.
Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be
going fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt! Do you think I should
change dentists?
A wife says to her husband you’re always pushing me around and
talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You’re in a wheel chair.
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get
reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would
like to come back as a cow. I said, “You’re obviously not listening”.
The wife has been missing for a week now. Police said to prepare
for the worst. So, I have been to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes
back.
At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day. I
lost by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have curly hair?
Apparently the correct answer was Africa!!!
There’s a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping center,
but I’ve been banned from it after asking to look at some of the new bomber
jackets.
Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip,
I said to the lady at the registration desk, “I hope the porn channel in my
room is disabled.” To which she replied, “No, it’s regular people-porn, you
sick bastard.”
A buddy of mine has just told me he’s getting it on with his
girlfriend and her twin. I said “How can you tell them apart?” He said “Her
brother’s got a mustache.”
Hoot:
The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and asked if we could
help towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we would love to, but our garden
hose only reaches the driveway
When such disturbing images arise in our minds, we must resort to the wisdom of the East to fully understand “What It All Means!”
Confucius Say.
It’s ok to let a fool kiss you,
but don’t let a kiss fool you.
Confucius Say.
A kiss is just shopping upstairs
for downstairs merchandise.
Confucius Say.
It is better to lose a lover
than love a loser.
Confucius Say.
A drunken man’s words
are a sober man’s thoughts.
Confucius Say.
Marriage is like a bank account.
You put it in, you take it out,
and you lose interest.
Confucius Say.
Viagra is like Disneyland …
a one hour wait for a 2-minute ride.
Confucius Say.
It is much better to want the mate you do not have
than to have the mate you do not want.
Confucius Say.
A joke is like sex.
Neither is any good if you don’t get it.
Let us meditate…..
Hoot:
Awfully pale. 😛
That was Awesome…
NICE CATCH
😯 …. No dogs ………… …….. . . and better yet, which car ??????????
~ GKU
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Wildfire :5:
Everything posted here is for the betterment of mankind. Damn women are on their own!
Hoot: